do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
