Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
