HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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