South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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