bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
