She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
