I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
