Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
