I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
