OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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