Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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