I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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