the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
