She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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