4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
