You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
