Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
