no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
