oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
