i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
