I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
