Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
