DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
