how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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