That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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