i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
