Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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