Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My liver just broke up with me...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
