You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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