Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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