You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
