I met the friendliest cop last night
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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