She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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