I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
