How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so let's talk penis.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
