yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
