the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
what day is it and did you see me today?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
