I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
