her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
