New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
