He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
