Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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