They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Please don't give away my fajitas
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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