I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
