Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
