i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
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