It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She's the barista slut.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
