she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
