but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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