you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
