We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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